A sad day 😔

The last few weeks, and this week in particular, have been pretty good. I've spoken to Jessie every night since Monday, albeit each time for only a couple of minutes, but it's just amazing to be hearing her sweet little voice and to be able to ask her if she's had a nice day and wishing her good night. It truly makes my day. My advice to anyone who's still in that fortunate situation to be permanently living with your loved ones is to not take anything for granted, live every day as if there's no tomorrow and show this love to one another. Unfortunately today I was told by her mum that I can't expect to talk to her every day. Which parent in his/her right mind could be that cruel to deny another parent that privilege? There's been many cruel actions I've questioned through the years though but to be told this, has been a very tough pill to swallow. And then as if it would make it easier for me to understand, I get told that Jessie doesn't want to speak to me every day, that it takes too much time out of her day. How very, very sad 😔

What is 5 minutes in any person's life? I'm not upset with Jess if this genuinely came from her. Not for one moment, and I'd have understood if we weren't close but I know how much she loves me. Perhaps one day that might change, but I pray it doesn't and I will always do my best to be the best father I could possibly be. I just find it beyond belief that a parent who took a decision for another parent not be part of the child's everyday life in the first place, could turn around and say you cannot speak to that little angel of yours, every day of your life. If roles were reversed I know I'd have done the opposite. I'd have encouraged the relationship between child and parent and I'd have explained to the child how important sacrificing 5 minutes of fun sometimes is. Surely it's called discipline and good parenting or am I wrong? 

When I tried bringing up another man's two sons, I remember doing everything I could to encourage the relationship between them and their father and on numerous occasions I told them to remember to call their dad. And that was before I even knew how hard it is when 95% of your life with your child has been taken away from you as it is. Whenever Jessie is with me for longer than a weekend I always tell her to give her mum a call. I don't think Jess has called me twice in three years. Again, everyone who knows how close Jessie and I am will understand that it doesn't reflect on our relationship at all and she cannot be blamed for that either - after all she is only 9! But if roles were reversed I'd certainly make an attempt to get her to call a couple of times a week and check in to see how mum's day has been. There is no way that talking to a parent, especially at that age, should be an effort. Imagine a life where if you live with your nine year old, you go a day without speaking to her because it takes too much time out of her day. I'm just gob-smacked.

It's a tough pill to swallow, very sad and very ruthless to be told you can't speak to each other every day. I often tell myself and others how often we focus on the bad things and forget to be grateful for what we have but its hard sometimes to accept the misery others can cause. How hard can it be to be nice..... I don't always have someone to talk to, which any expert would say sometimes make things a little easier, therefore I guess I put my feelings to paper. Not with the intention to publicly humiliated anyone but rather as a warning to others out there not to make the same mistakes. No child or parent should be denied a little bit of happiness and love from one another. As children though, sometimes we just need to be reminded of the little things that matter.