Thursday 21 January 2016

No overseas holidays with Jess

How cruel can a parent be? Admittedly I'm not in the best financial position right now but nonetheless it doesn't stop me having dreams and working towards goals and holidays. Sadly though, for the third time in the last 15 months I'm told that I'm not allowed to take Jessie abroad. What kind of person would be perfectly fine leaving our beloved daughter in my care on weekends but don't "trust" me taking her on holiday for a weekend or maybe longer to France or Italy? Like I'm a criminal or have a record or background of doing anything crazy and cause my little girl harm. Apparently I'm too unstable and I'm not settled in this country! Really!!!! The only reason I'm "unsettled" if that is what it's called, is because I'm the one who got told to leave a family house and start again on my own. To then had to make a choice between carrying on the job I did and not get to see my little girl because my employer couldn't guarantee giving me weekends off every fortnight. To then be made redundant shortly after starting a new job because one of the outlets closed down, certainly hasn't helped but instead of being lazy and living off benefits I decided to try and improve my career prospects by studying towards a Sport Management degree and possibly doing a PGCE. Still, I'm the one blamed for everything, my child taken away from me and I'm not allowed to get upset about it. Now I'm constantly being told I can't take her abroad, yet we've had numerous holidays travelling across England.

I feel so sorry for Jess being denied that opportunity and not to mention visiting South Africa and her family there. Perhaps she may never travel to South Africa again until she's 18 because no matter how nice a person I am or have been, how could I ever agree for her mum to take her on holiday when she has denied me the chance? I'd love to say I'm a better person than that and believe me I always strive and try my best to be the best person I can be, but when I get punished and Jessie has to live with the consequences of not being able to share and make those memories with me too, how can anyone just accept it? It's just incredibly sad.....

I've been trying to open a savings account for her in her own name for several months but again, I can't be trusted with her birth certificate or passport? How can I keep on being treated like an animal, not trusted, like I am a criminal of some sorts? But I dare not get upset about it because then I'm the bad one. What sad person can continue being this mean to another despite being begged to just be normal, not least for the child's sake. Yet, I'm completely trusted in having my little angel stay with me in this country (thankfully). Crazy..... nothing would ever buy back this time that has been taken away from us and it's hard to forgive when a person continue causing you harm. I wish I could.......

Tuesday 19 January 2016

1st snow of the year ☃

If there's one person in this world who never fails at bringing joy in my life, it's Jessica! We may only see each other every fortnight, but rarely does a weekend together not leave memories that will last a lifetime and this weekend has been no exception! Sadly though the Rams did their best at spoiling the party on Saturday getting hammered 3-0 by Birmingham.... It was the first time Jessie has seen them lose mind you but no doubt it won't be the last time either, as much as I wish it can be avoided. But as they say, you've got to have the bad days in order to appreciate the good ones!

It didn't stop us having an amazing evening though as we played a game of Tension - the new board game her uncle Geoff bought her for Christmas - and did a bit of wrestling which she always loves! Yesterday morning we were greeted with a blanket of snow outside which we took full advantage of going for an early morning walk in the park which of course included a snowball fight and building a snowman too! There was even time for an ice cream!!

Despite the problems there are and have been between her mum and I and both of our mistakes and shortcomings, I will always be proud of and appreciate the role we both play in trying to raise her in the best possible way. Jessie's manners never lets me down and I just hope she never loses that! She's the most kind hearted little girl any parent can wish for. I love you to bits Jessica Elaine de Vos ❤️


Monday 18 January 2016

A dream project, please let's make it happen......


Please donate by clicking here - your help will go a long way

Ever since making the decision to permanently move abroad seven years ago, I've had a dream of helping others accomplish what I was blessed with shortly after turning nineteen; An opportunity to visit and play cricket in England, the place it's believed to have been practised more than 450 years ago. Leaving the shores of Africa in 2008 wasn't easy, nor was it back in 1996. Although some similarities exist - a new adventure and both on the back of cricket - there were two big differences; Not knowing if we'll ever return and leaving everything behind. It's a sacrifice nobody understands unless you've experienced it yourself.

Many days I ask myself whether or not is was the right thing to do, how life would have been had we not made that decision? Not many days go by without me carrying a heavy load of guilt on my back for making a selfish decision - a decision that I thought would offer us a better opportunity, better career, better education for our children and a safer environment. At the time I didn't think about what I took away from others - grandchildren away from their family, children away from their parents, family and friends and the opportunity that the cricket academy I started seven years prior provided to children from all backgrounds. It's sometimes a bitter pill to swallow.

Things may not have turned out the way I'd hoped and although I may never quite understand why, I will always believe things happen for a reason, albeit not always easy to accept, it can often steer you on a different route with unexpected and perhaps better outcomes. Who'd have thought I'd be in full-time education at the age of thirty nine? Who'd have thought I'd be standing pitch side in front of 32,000 singing fans during kick off at an English Football match and that I'd have fallen in love with Wheelchair Basketball, being a Team Liaison for Italy? Who knows the reason we get knocked off our path sometimes, the important thing is to get up and make the best of what we're able to while we can.

It's for that reason I've decided to focus on the dream I mentioned right at the beginning. Being involved in the Academy back in South Africa not only gave me lifelong memories but it provided something to the community which we could all share, enjoy and benefit from. Sport development has improved vastly over the past decade and many young people from all corners of South Africa are given an opportunity to compete on the world stage nowadays. Cricket has also transformed into a very wealthy sport and can be very financially rewarding for those who make it onto provincial level, especially in the IPL. Kids from all backgrounds, no matter how poor, therefore have an opportunity to set themselves up for life through doing something they love.

The project I'm looking to start however, is aimed at those who probably won't make it that far. It's aimed at young people who just aren't quite good enough to represent their country or even province but who have a passion and love for the game like no other, like what I had when all I wanted to do was come to England and play cricket every day. Although I had the passion, the biggest problem standing in the way of relishing my dream was being able to fund it. I was very lucky though - the help I received from the community and years of savings made it possible. Not everyone is that blessed..... I want to help make that possible for some and offer them something they will never forget.

I'm hoping to raise enough money to be able to offer two cricketers a six week visit to England next year, during which they'll receive coaching, play matches, a visit to Lord's and enjoy some British culture. This might well be the only ever time they get such a chance - who knows, it might even jump-start their career in the sport. Although I'm planning a number of fundraising events, this will not be possible without generous support from businesses and individuals. I must therefore ask if you'd please be so kind to support this campaign by clicking on the link to help make someone accomplish a dream and by making even a tiny donation. 

No matter how small, your contribution will go a long way towards making this dream a reality. The biggest challenge is getting every single person reading this to donate something. Too often we think, "Nah, I can't be bothered", "my tiny contribution won't help" or even worse, "I'll do it another time" - then we don't. Please, act now. What is one less £3 spent on something this month or even week? 

By donating something and sharing this with your friends via email, Facebook, Twitter or whichever way you can, could eventually help offer these guys the best six weeks of their lives.

Let's make this possible, together, please. Your help will be gratefully appreciated, thank you.