When Is The Right Time To "Move On"?

Your marriage unfortunately hasn't worked out and you now find yourself separated from your partner. Not only has your relationship of 13 years come to an end but there's also children involved which means walking away and never dealing with each other again, closing the chapter and pretending it never happened, is not an option.

Six months has since passed, but you're still married. Yet things have gone from bad to worse and these days conversations are limited to "what time are you fetching her?", "I was busy" or "it's none of your business". It's not getting any easier. The hope of trying to remain being friends, for the sake of the child, is long gone. But life moves on.......

The question I have for you all is this: When is it okay or when is the right time to move on? This situation is different to a couple who split up or divorced and have no children. I guess then it's just a question of when you feel the time is right and when it suits you. This is different though. You're still married and you have children to think of also.

So, is it right to expose your child to seeing you sleep next to someone else at night? I was fortunate to be brought up in a Christian household and school. I'm by no means a perfect Christian, though I strive to be as good as I can. Adultery was a big no-no from as long ago as my mind stretches. And today I can see why! But to get back to this particular point, why would anyone do this to their child? Is it an act of hate towards the partner? If so, what about the child's feelings towards the other parent. Surely this can't be fair on the innocent victim.

What about the law? Is this adultery because the person is still married? What about the risks? Besides emotional harm this could cause the child, the court may also hold this against the person when it comes to divorce settlement and custody. Perhaps most concerning to me though is the question of how well does that person actually know your "replacement"? Is your child safe??? It's a scary thought, but reality!

In my opinion, the right time would be once there is absolutely no hope to ever fix and repair the problems that caused you to be separated. When getting a divorce is the last possible outcome. Once you're no longer married and only then when you've explained the situation to your child, when you've taken into account their thoughts and feelings and when you are 100% certain that the new person holds no threat to your child's well being, then the time is right to move on.

I'm no expert in this field and I'm not qualified to say what's right and what's wrong, but common sense tells me that this is no time to be selfish, not when children are involved. I'd be interested to hear your own views and please feel free to share them in the comments field. After all, we're all allowed an opinion.