Most relationships have their ups and downs and we often end up being stronger and better people when we get through the storm. Sometimes we take things for granted. We'll have an argument and think "oh we'll get through it eventually and make up again". Often this is the case...... Until one day..... No more making up and it's the end.......
Why did we not appreciate each other? Why were we best soul mates for so long, just to end up fighting all the time? Why have we changed? So many questions, so many times you wish you could turn back time!
The innocent one caught in the middle of all this is the 7 year old girl who now has to act more mature and stronger than anyone can imagine! It's the girl who doesn't want to say too much good about either parent in case she ends up hurting the other one's feelings!
I didn't have Jess over on Christmas Day. It was hard, but we made up for that dreaded lonely experience, which luckily ended up being a wonderfully enjoyable day, by celebrating Christmas Eve on the 23rd instead.
Such is Jessie's great manners and adorable thoughtfulness that with each present she opened, she showed genuine appreciation. Whether it was a little art set from her daddy or an educational book off her favourite uncle Geoff, the sincerity and appreciation could clearly be seen in her eyes and heard by the tone of her voice as she thanked each of us for each and every present opened. Which was then followed by playing with all of them, not neglecting any of them. A very pleasing sight considering the most expensive present was £9.99!
Although Jessie didn't spend Christmas with me, we made a plan and it was great! After spending the actual day with her mother and step brother Blake, she returned again on Boxing Day. Jessie and I have already had wonderful holidays together, but these last 5 days easily rank among the best. Ask her uncle Geoff, she's been amazing and we've all had a great time! From cycling and walking around Darley Park, baking, doing crosswords, playing with dogs in the pub, practicing cricket in the lounge, playing bingo, telling stories, bird watching and staying up till the early hours of the morning, it's been a truly memorable week! Perhaps one the most special times was when Jessie decided to surprise daddy and tidy up the lounge at 1am! Such is the thoughtfulness the girl has that she spent an hour tidying not just her own mess but her daddy's and uncle Geoff's too!
Such is the warmth of her heart that she said she'd prefer to live with me for one week and with her mum for another. Asking her why she said that, she replied saying she wouldn't like either of our feelings to be hurt and that it will be fair! It's easy to forget she's only 7 years old!
Having overheard her earlier today, when she spoke to her mum on the phone saying she misses her a lot and that two days is still a long time before she'll get to see her again, I asked her afterwards whether she misses her mum. She asked if I heard what she was saying on the phone, and I said "yes I did but it's okay." There's nothing wrong in missing someone and it's understandable, especially since she's not used to being away from her mum for this length of time.
I asked her if she wanted to go back tomorrow and with a brave little voice she said she'd like that but didn't want me to be sad. Her thoughtfulness brought a tear to my eye straight away and yet again she proved to be braver than me! I told her it's fine, that I will understand and the time we've spent together this time around has been very special. I said it would have been great to spend New Year's Eve together, but all I want is for her to be happy and it's not her fault that she misses her mommy!
She said why don't we pretend New Year's Eve is tonight? I explained to her that it usually co-incides with fireworks around the world and us being able to see various countries entering the New Year on TV. Jessie then said "I'll be back just now daddy" and left the room.
It's hard for the strongest of dads to hold back the tears when you experience what I did moments later. Back she came with a tiny little sealed handmade envelope. Inside it was money she took out of her savings box - for me. With the floodgates already opening I thanked her and said I can't take that money off her, but she insisted and said "Daddy, I know you don't have a lot money, but please I want you to be happy - you're best daddy in the whole world and I'm so lucky to have you as my dad. I'll miss you but I love you very much!" as she put her arms around my neck. Well..... Nothing could hold the tears back then as we were both sobbing away!
I told her never to feel bad about missing or wanting to be with either parent. That it's not her fault. She said she just wants us all to be back together and be one happy family, and I said to her I wish so too but kept saying to her that it wasn't her fault, that she was not to blame and didn't deserve to be put in the middle.
I wiped my tears and said "C'mon my angel, let's do something fun, let's have a party!" She told me to wait there and went into the lounge. 5 mins later she came to fetch me and there was another amazing sight awaiting me. She cut paper in the shape of fireworks, stuck it to the wall, wrote happy new year and I love you daddy on another.
Tonight, the 30th of December 2013, I'm having the best New Years Eve celebration ever!
I love you Jessica Elaine de Vos! You're the most amazing little girl and daughter anyone can ask for!
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| Jessica de Vos |
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